Since I guess I was 10, I have tasted love. Not just the motherly love but love from the opposite sex. Some might be just my imagination, but time has taught me, on hindsight, most of those cases, there were something that might be love. And then as I grew, I have gone though my fair share of ecstasy and heart breaks. In one hand it has definitely taught me how to love; yet what is the truest form of love still is an enigma for me.
There were some, which some will call infatuation, but that never stopped the heart from racing. There were some that made me believe in soul mates with telepathic connection; yet came to know that you can definitely have more than one soul mates. One might argue that if I have experienced so much in love, I should be knowing the alphabets, the grammar and the entire literature of love! Yet I feel to me its still an enigma, I only know bits n pieces of it.
How else can I explain my present condition? While I have absolutely no doubt that the love of my life I have presently is many times more than I ever dreamt for; yet I also pine for all those Ii have lost? I have absolutely no idea why in-spite of having a partner who can identify my mood from my breath, and knowing that someone in the past might have only used me while I emptied my heart on her and she might be still using me; yet I feel a connection and urge to keep an eye for her well being?
There were so many whose path departed from mine, some went happy, some cursed and yet some simply vanished. On and off they visit me in my thoughts and my heart becomes unsettled unaware of how they are. Never ever have tried to possess anyone, and tried to see them happy – some I know now; among them some living in pretense of happiness, some has accepted their share of misfortune and living it out. And here I am, with an unsettled heart and choking breath remembering and pining for them.
And thats why after all the love I have, it still is an enigma that I cant share with anyone!