The Bridge : : Friday Fictioneers 13 march 2015

Friday Fictioneer 15 march 2015

Friday Fictioneer 15 march 2015

Ten years were long enough to change the look of the city. Some of the buildings still survived. Of course this coffee shop overlooking the entrance of the office building across the street was not there.

Sipping his espresso, he kept looking at the entrance, hoping to catch a glimpse; he knew she still works there. His mind oscillating between conscious and subconscious, past and present – voices, pictures and smell.

Smell? That perfume seems familiar –

“I knew I will catch you here someday – not fond of burning bridges – right?” Startled, he turns to catch her standing behind, with that familiar stare.

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The second story this week – which I wrote first, for Friday Fictioneers hosted by Rochelle !

 

9 responses to “The Bridge : : Friday Fictioneers 13 march 2015

  1. Well, that one sneaked up on me. 🙂

  2. Dear Horace,

    Did you mix up the tenses in those two sentences to illustrate the strange and warped sense of time inherent to your tale? If so, well done…

    Aloha,

    Doug

  3. Burning bridges – clever story.

  4. Sounds like he is still in love with her. Nice story!

  5. I like that you concentrated on the bridge. I looked at that a drew a blank. You formed a great story around it.

  6. I didn’t get the feeling that this was going to end on a positive note, despite him finding her again. As Doug said, the mixing of the tenses threw me a bit. The easiest way to fix it would be changing “works” in the second paragraph to “worked” and “turns” in your last sentence to “turned.” You might also try “oscillated” for ” oscillating.” It will make the flow better as well as the sense of time and not distract from your good story.. Just my $.02. 😉

    janet

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