Its yesterday once more; once more standing at the cross-road – while life demands me to choose. I hate to choose, its always difficult to leave something behind. Yet, that’s inevitable, as you cannot travel with baggage increasing. Personally I always love travelling light. And sometime ponder, is it the same reason why I have so less with me, in my journey of life!
When you keep winning, its easier to make those choices, as you have that latent confidence in yourself to make all that you choose – work for you. Its when you are unsure – it gives you the chill. For some, its game of cricket, where the ball is bowled and you need to take split decision, to hit or to block! To lift the ball over the mid-wicket for a six, or flick it towards the fine leg for a quick and safe single. For others it’s a game of chess; weighing all possible options and then pondering over what all could be the next move and the next to that – till a possible end is reached; plans for all of those possibilities, and then weighing each individual move before you move your piece on the board and hit the clock for life to make its move.
Someone said, life is rocking – and I said to myself, yeah you bet – mine too! Its rocking my boat. When you ask something from life, be sure what you are asking for; ‘coz life has this uncanny habit of giving you what you want, yet send that chill down you spine with the unexpected flip side. I do remember, I used the Chinese proverb, quoted by Bibhuti Bhushan that says – “Instead of spending a tranquil, immobile life of a square tile of a roof, being a marble rock on a river-bed, rolling and vanishing off is far better – far better – far better”. Yes I wanted a action from life – and what it gave me is labyrinth of choices. To move me away from in-action it threw me into a vortex of instability. So keep guessing, keep choosing and keep thinking “what happened if” (oh yeah! I remember those long list of “what happened if” questions I prepared for JEE. Unfortunately none of
these “what happened ifs” are from that list).
When you are clear about “why” to live, none of the possible “how” matters. And it’s these “why”-s that makes the choices of life tricky. So once more I am with my chess board, counting my “why”-s, and drawing myself inwards into the drawing board. The game of snake and ladder with life continues.