I do believe, I do – I do

 

Yes I do believe. I believe in fairies, I believe in Santa Clause, in Peter Pan, Elves, Prayers and all that gives hope. Sitting in this chair, watching the incessant rain outside my window, that’s my only hope. I want to belive that when it rains, someone, somewhere IS there who is feeling something good about me. Someone loves me. Anyone who is a believer can not be unloved.

 

I do not know the wrongs that I have done; I sincerely have never tried to deceive or bring any harm to anyone. Have always trusted my granny when she told me the stories of “madhusudan dada”, the little Krishna; I always believed that if I do good things, someday, might take some time, but still someday I will be rewarded. I know when I want to talk to her, she does listen. May be I am yet to learn her language to know what she tells me back, but she talks.

 

Its my only ray of hope; a light that can take me away from this little plastic bottle I hold in my hand; from the ever lasting darkness, the despair and the incessant impregnable wall of black all around. I do not
know how long I can, but I genuinely want to believe that there must be some hope. There must be some hope of my dreams. I sincerely want to believe that if I keep shouting – “I believe in fairies, I do, I do,” somewhere a fairy will live, and she will grant me my wish. Just one wish – that’s what I always wanted from god.

 

Yep, can do with a real warm, cozy, genuine hug! The nights have become really prickly and tricky. But I still desperately want to believe. Want to see the phoenix rise once more! Will it be able to d it this time…